I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
