I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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