break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
