theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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