can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
