I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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