Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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