is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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