So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
