Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
