So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
