I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
