Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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