sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
