how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
