Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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