Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
