the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
