I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
