i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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