Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think I am morally bankrupt
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize
