The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
