Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
