I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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