And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
