sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
