Cold hands, warm shart.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
