Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I need to stop coming to work sober
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Randomize
