Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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