I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
