what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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