addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Randomize
