And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
