Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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