i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
