i'm signing you up for texting rehab
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
