PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
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Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize