Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
