My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you didnt know i had herpes?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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