i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize