YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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