yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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