I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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