You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
