Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
