strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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