I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
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Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
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It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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