I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
