I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
