Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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