Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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