there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
