I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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