dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
