I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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