I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
