Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
