The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
