One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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