i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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