Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
