I cannot find my penis.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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