porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
