In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
