let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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