Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Damn victory sex feels great
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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